Hello from Fredder Land!

I developed my love of names early on. As the second of six children, it seemed normal to me that names were always discussed; my parents would talk often about the names they were considering for the new baby. From them I learned the importance of compromising between naming styles, as well as to appreciate passing on a name that holds great meaning to the child’s parents. They encouraged my curiosity, and always answered my questions about what a name meant, and why it was special to them.

 

My own name, Mary-Catherine, is a prime example of compromise and choosing a name with family meaning. My father wanted to name me after my mother, Mary. She wanted to name me after her sister, Catherine. Their compromise was a hyphenated first name, and the understanding that I would always be called by both names. While having a double first name caused some confusion at times, I loved knowing that I was named after two special people in my life, and appreciated how each name was carefully chosen.

 

Names and their origins, meanings, and histories continued to fascinate me, and I spent a great deal of time flipping through the family tree my parents compiled, as well as the family Bible, which had a section dedicated to names (mostly Biblical and Saint’s names) in the back.

 

When I married my high-school sweetheart, John, I had to remember the lessons on naming compromise that my parents had taught me. It seemed in the beginning that we would never settle on a name for our first child. He preferred trendy or off-beat names; I had a fondness for older, more traditional names. We discovered that we both loved names that reflected our Scottish and Irish heritage, as well as names with family meanings. He willingly gave up his trendy choices, and I let go of my turn-of-the-century name lists, and we found names that we both loved.

 

I wanted my children to have names that meant as much to us as my own name meant to my parents- and names they could be as proud of as I was of my own name. The names we chose for our son and our daughter, Sian Alasdair and Fiona Cathleen met all of our requirements. They each have one name that was chosen for its family significance, as well as one name that we both loved that reflects our pride in our heritage.

 

What I learned from my parents, as well as in my journey to find names for my own children, has molded the naming philosophy I now have. I strongly encourage that parents look for names that mean a great deal to them, rather than just names that sound “cute” Naming a child gives a parents an opportunity to pass along part of themselves to their children. We chose names with connections to our family and ancestry- and there are so many other choices out there. I think that one of the greatest gifts a parent can give to their child is a name that they can be proud of, a name that means something special to them and to their parents.

Little nuances…

I have to admit, I’ve been thinking about what to write for sometime now, but it just hasn’t come to me. It’s not that I haven’t had any ideas, it’s just that nothing has really cried out to me so much that I want to put it down in words.

Until today.

Today my oldest came home from school and told me about the school photos that were taken today and the fact that when you have a brother or sister in school with you, you automatically have your photo taken with him or her as well. As such, my daughters had their photo taken together. I’m so happy!

But WHAT you ask does this have to do with names? Hold on, I’m getting there.

Because my daughter is slightly detail oriented in certain areas (mostly in what she’s eaten at lunch that day), I got a run down of who had his or her photo taken with a sibling. And Basil is what gave me the idea.

Not basil as in the stuff you make pesto from, but Basil as in a super-cool, very-British, lovely yet underused name. But it wasn’t just Basil that piqued my interest. It was Basil’s brother Harold as well. Now as much as I can get behind Basil, I don’t get the same warm and fuzzy feelings about Harold. However, Basil and Harold as a sibling set and when pronounced with a French accent….

Well, that’s something else all together!

Creating Namesakes and New Family Traditions

I have a knack for mindless chatter. Especially when faced with awkward silence. In fact, awkward silence makes me feel rude. I feel called to use my gift for mindless chatter to break the ice.

My in-laws are a quiet family.

Many years ago, around the dinner table, I found myself square in the middle of a quiet lull. It went on and on. Being naturally equipped for just such emergencies I began to chatter. I chattered about what Daniel and I could name our babies.

Daniel and I had been “naming” our babies since the early days of our dating. We had picked such big winners as Buelah and Ernest. I left those names behind for the moment and chattered about ways we could incorporate their family names with ours.

It turns out names aren’t a universal conversation starter.

Nonetheless my mother-in-law beamed sweetly at us and shared the dear hope of her heart. Her mother was Susie. She is Beverly Sue, her daughter is Sueanna Jean. She thought how lovely it would be to frame a picture with all of the generations of Sue’s in it. And I agreed that my sister-in-law Sueanna really ought to use Sue for her daughter someday.

Mother-in-Law assured me it would be even more wonderful to have all of her first granddaughters share names that incorporated Sue.

She illustrated how special this could be by sharing the tradition that comes down from my father-in-laws family. My father-in-law’s mother is Eleanor Jean. Her daughter is Holly Jean. Holly’s daughter is Sally Jean, and as I mentioned earlier, my sister-in-law is Sueanna Jean.

And there it was. The expectation hanging in the air. Someday Daniel and I would have a daughter and her name would need to be Sue** (please pick the variation you love the most) Jean.

I didn’t want my first act as a member of this family tree to be insulting. And yet, I don’t actually like the name Jean. And for a first name I had my heart set on Norah.

It was three years before the situation came up. But by the time my own little one was nestled in my arms, warm and soft and sweet and beautiful, we had found a great way to make everyone (at least sort of) happy.

My husband and I found a way to honor his grandmothers, Eleanor and Susie without using the prescribed names. The prescribed names didn’t speak to us, but the grandmothers themselves are worthy namesakes.

To my delight my husband did not shy away from such an off the wall choice as Eleanor for our daughter’s first name. We call her Norah.

The answer to honoring Sue and family tradition on that side was a little harder. We talked and talked and hunted and hunted for just the right middle name. To me, that would be a quirky and sweet name. I like to hide something unexpected and charming between the two names you use to introduce yourself.

Grandma Susie’s mother was Alice Berry (Berry was her maiden name.) Susie herself was Susie Berry. My brother-in-law is Jonathan Berry. Berry, unlike Jean, is sweet, quirky and surprising. Exactly what I love in a middle name. It was a tradition hiding in plain sight and it was perfect.

Historians, family genealogist, the sentimental types, basically people just like me, love name traditions. They tie generations one to each other. They connect families to their stories. Here in the States especially, the story of where a family came from and who sacrificed in the past for today’s blessings is venerated.

And yet, no mother waiting with baited breath for the safe arrival of her first child should have uncomfortable name obligations. I think my mother-in-law was sad that her first granddaughter didn’t share in the tradition of Sue. But she was also touched that we had used Berry, a name still very important to the family. Grandma Eleanor didn’t seem time mind this baby not being a Jean. But she was thrilled that her own great granddaughter shared her first name. She even liked the name Norah for short.

We found a way to please our family even though we didn’t do what was expected. And we found a way to give our daughter a name from our heart. A name we love to say that honors people we cherish.

Expanding Your Inspiration: Saints’ Names

You do not have to be religious to choose a saints’ name for your child. Many of the saints have a history anyone can appreciate, a history of bravery, ethical fortitude and above all – some really cool names. I am going to be writing a regular piece on using criteria to craft a name you might never have thought of before, and I’m starting with the one of the pieces of my naming rubric: saints’ names, in whole or in part.

St. Lucy of Syracuse – alternate names, St. Lucia, St. Lukia – legend has it she committed herself to God and refused to marry a pagan. When pressed, she prayed to God and became immovable, the pagan would-be-husband tried to have her burned, and then stabbed, and finally had her eyes gouged out. She remained true to her pledge and herself and has been venerated in nearly every Christian society. Lucy, Lucia or other names associated with her sad tale would make fantastic names.  Possible nicknames include LuLu or Lucy from Lucia

St. Lawrence Justinian – left a fairly comfortable life and a future marriage to work for a religious order. He begged for the poor, held several administrative positions and then became a bishop. He wrote extensively on contemplative matters. Possible names include Lawrence, Justinian, Justin, Justus and Lorenzo and possible nn Larry. I know Larry might seem terribly out-of-touch, but I foresee a re-branding of 50s and 60s names as the next big thing, and Larry would seem very cutting edge.

St. Lydia Purpuraria – St. Lydia was St. Paul’s first known convert. She was a businesswoman who made purple (read: couture) garments for the extremely wealthy. She gladly invited the forefathers of the early church into her home, showing not just a head for business, but hospitality as well. Lydia would make a lovely name nn Lydie or Porfirio for a boy – it means “purple”

St. Louis Bertram – St. Louis (Lou-iss or Lou-ee) was a teacher, determined to follow the faith from a  young age.  St. Louis trained preachers in their vocation and showed mercy and care to plague victims in 1557. In addition, he survived an attempted murder by S. American shamans. He was very successful as a preacher, it is said that he witnessed 15,000 converts. Possible names are Louis, Bertram, Dominic (he was a Dominican), with nn Lou, Bertie, Dom. The names in their entirety, though, are incredibly handsome and would make stately names for any child.

These are just a random sample of the “L” names you might add to your inspiration – names with stories, history, but that will either fit in with current naming trends (as with Lucy) or take us into the future (Larry, Louis) and seem at once familiar and new (Lydia, Lawrence). A1